From the “This Just in…” Dept.

I just had to ring in on this subject before I hit the hay.

Here is a excerpt of Jonathan Rauch’s Caring for Your Introvert:

“With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. “People person” is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like ‘guarded,’ ‘loner,’ ‘reserved,’ ‘taciturn,’ ‘self-contained,’ ‘private‘—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality.

“Guarded”, “reserved”, “taciturn”—all words that have, at one time or another, been used to describe my nature. This is perhaps the most telling excerpt in the essay:

“If so, do you tell this person he is ‘too serious,’ or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?”

Me?! (finger pointing to my noise) Too Serious?!

A project manager told me today that I had to “lighten up.” They obviously haven’t read this article.

It’s funny. I know that I’m introverted by nature, but I have developed strategies and “extroverted-habits” to cope with the world outside of my head (“Alwasy look people in the eye when you speak”, “Stand up tall, don’t slouch”, “Walk with purpose”, “Speak out, Speak loud”, “Ask people questions if you have nothing to talk about”, etc.). I’m currently working on a new habit: “Smile when I see people“.

Granted, I’m not open to flights of fantasy (like some people that I know), but I do think a lot. When I mean think, I don’t mean compute, I mean “think” as in “ponder”. Silence is golden sometimes.

I do find people tiring. Not that I don’t treasure and cherish their companionship.

Of it, I think the Internet has been a great boon to Introverts. As Jason Kottke writes,

“The Internet has helped me a great deal in this regard. Email, IM, and my weblog allow me to communicate with people when I want and how I want, without worrying about all the things introverts worry about when interacting with people: small talk, first impressions, awkward silences, etc. With the web, I can carry on a conversation with a whole group of people and stare down at my shoes at the same time. That’s an amazing and special thing for me.”

I agree with his sentiments, but I know for a fact that the Internet (one of the best things since sliced-bread) won’t ever replace human interaction. My work at OnX proves that. We get more done with one day of face-to-face client work than we can with several weeks of conference calls and email correspondence.

Just think about all those deep and intellectually stimulating conversations that spring up over IM. I’ve had a theory that the digital looking-glass of IM and Internet-supported communication really makes a huge impact at what people are willing to say. I’ve been caught doing it myself; telling perfect strangers, really deep personal stuff. It’s something that just doesn’t happen when I’m face-to-face with a person. In fact, I can see how people can fall in love over IM, or leave their husband/wife for an Internet Chat lover. Hell, I personally know examples for each of these instances.

I think too much.

Cheers,

Tai